Birthdays are supposed to be a celebration of someone’s life. One more year that we had to spend with them, one more year to make memories. But what happens when that person isn’t here anymore?
This morning I rolled over and picked up my phone and realized it’s May 27. Today Brandon would have been 29.
I didn’t expect the thought of never seeing his beautiful smile again would hit me so hard a year and a half later. I often find myself looking at old pictures and videos of him with a smile on my face, but today is different for some reason. I’m sitting here with a knot in my throat and tears on my face, and all I want is to call him and tell him happy birthday. I want to tell him that I love him and I miss him.
When you lose someone you love, life does go on and you have to go on with it, but it doesn’t get any easier. You don’t miss that person any less. You don’t love that person any less. Sometimes you forget for a second that they’re gone and then you remember and it hits you all over again.
I’ve been watching videos of Brandon singing all morning. I am so thankful for that gift. I never have to forget what his laugh sounded like or how he looked so happy when he was singing and playing guitar.
I’m going to try and not spend my day sitting here being sad. I want to go out and have the best day I can, for Brandon. He brought so much joy into the lives of others, so it’s only right to spend his birthday with a smile on my face.
I love you so much Brandon Fisher, and I can’t wait to see you again.