Work that creativity.

It’s been about four months since I graduated from UNC Charlotte, and I know that may not seem like a long time but it definitely feels like forever.  While I was in school I was an English and political science major, but my real passion is writing.  It always has been and I’m positive it always will be.

I’ve begun to notice all of the things my professors ever told me about when I was done with college are becoming true, even though I was positive they were wrong.  One in particular sticks out in my mind.

“You have to write everyday.”

Now, I know I work for a newspaper so I do write almost everyday, but what I’m talking about more is creative writing – fiction or nonfiction.  While in classes I always had assignments forcing me to continue writing and working and being creative.  I no longer have that push, and without it I’m finding it extremely difficult to put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard) and write anything at all.  I know some will call it writer’s block, but the wonderful Aaron Gwyn once taught me there is no such thing as writer’s block, only fear.

Honestly, I think the fear has overcome my creativity and it holding me back from anything.  I know writers have to write bad things to get to the good, not everything everyone writes is brilliant, even for the most skilled writers.

My problem now is figuring out how to get past this road block.  Join a writing group?  Take classes somewhere just to force me to write?  Or can I find the willpower on my own to get to it and stop putting off what I want more than anything in the world – to write something worth reading, something that changes the reader in some way?

Obviously I understand the first piece I write can’t do that, as far as being a writer goes I’m very young and nowhere near my potential.  

And the problem with going to a class is, honestly, I feel like I would be dumbing myself down to enroll in a class somewhere.  I’m an English major, the only classes I should be taking are in graduate school, right?  Oh come on, you know I don’t really think that’s true.  Maybe there’s also fear there in that I don’t want to experience rejection.  No one does because it’s not fun.  

I guess getting out my frustrations is step one, maybe now I can get over it and just write something already.

I’m sexy and I know it.

Last night Haley and I decided it would be a good idea to wake up at about 6:30 a.m. and take a trip to the gym.  With my busy schedule I thought it best to try to squeeze the gym in before work since after I’m usually either too tired or too busy to go when I get off.  No way I’m going to the gym at like 10 at night.  I ain’t got time for that.

To my surprise, and I’m sure to everyone else’s as well, I woke up and made it to the gym by 7 a.m.  Honestly, I didn’t have any faith in myself last night as I fell asleep around midnight, but when Hal text me this morning I felt a surge of energy, for about 30 seconds.  Just long enough for me to stand up and walk to the bathroom.

Now, I could tell you this was a good decision and I feel so energized today from working out, but that’s a lie.  It’s 4:19 p.m. and I feel like it’s 9 at night.  It’s time for a nap, but I have a meeting to cover tonight at 7 and some other things to do before that.  Basically, I’m trying to tell you I made a terrible decision.

What I don’t understand is why there were so many people at the gym this morning.  Not to mention just there, but there were people LEAVING when I pulled up.  Who is their right mind is leaving the gym at 7 a.m.?  It makes no sense to me.  How could you hate yourself that much?  I’m not a morning person by any means, so I guess I should have foreseen how I didn’t want to be at the gym.  Driving home I’m pretty sure I was a danger to society because I almost fell asleep a couple of times.

While at the gym though I really did work out.  I wasn’t lazy by any means, it was when the working out was finished when I realized I needed a nap before going to work.  Something I wasn’t going to get.

What I’m really trying to figure out is, when did I get so lazy?  I used to live at the dance studio and do nothing but practice and workout.  I made it work then.  Why can’t I make it work now?  Ugh.

I guess it’s about time.

Yeah yeah, it’s been a while.  After failing the challenge I felt a little intimidated to jump back in the blog game, but here I am.  I just don’t have the time or determination to post at least once a day.  I remember when I started this blog and I told Eden, “I’m going to post every day.”  She sarcastically told me good luck, and now I see why.  Having enough things to talk about is difficult.

My life hasn’t changed much since I last posted, except my baby sister is about to turn 18, which blows my mind.  I want my little baby back, but it will be fun to go out with her and be able to do more “grown up” things with her.

I’m also moving out the first weekend in March, which is for sure a big change.  Alex isn’t very excited about having to live with my kittens, but he will get used to that.  Once you fall in love with them you stop caring about all of their cat-like quality that aren’t pleasant to deal with, like litter boxes and hair balls.  I know he will love them in no time.  They have already started bonding.

And last, but certainly not least, I have decided I will going to graduate school in the fall of 2014.  That gives me time to prepare for the GRE and take some more time off.  Gwen is studying in Washington D.C. right now, which I’m insanely jealous of, and after talking to her I realized I do want to go back to school.  I love school and being all in the mix and being super busy.  I haven’t decided on all of the places I am going to apply, but there is time for that.  My mom was super excited when I told her I had made a decision.  She has been pushing me to figure out what I want to do, so I guess that’s one less worry off of her plate.  Momma didn’t think I would go back if I took a break.

I don’t really have much else to say… except, Happy Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day, probably one of the dumbest holidays ever.  But whatever.

Not lazy, thrifty.

Day 9 – Pick a Pinterest DIY and do it.

I don’t think it’s a secret that I am a procrastinator and often a little lazy, as you are about to see.  I was going to so something else for today’s post, but I have too much going on to go to the store.  So, I made it happen with things we have in the house.  Some may call it lazy, but let’s call it thrifty.

One time I was on Pinterest and I saw this thing where a girl took a glass jar, put marbles at the bottom, put flowers you would put in a fish tank in it, filled it with water and put floating candles on the top.  I thought it was cool and told myself I would do it one day.

Now, the only thing I didn’t have was flowers, and I don’t feel like going to the store.  Just pretend there are pretty flowers in there.  We can use our imaginations for today.  I promise when I move out and have to decorate my apartment I will be a lot less lazy and a lot more creative.  Until then, this is what you get.

 

Meow.

Day 8 – If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

I know what you’re thinking, Ciera looks like a monkey so of course that’s what she’s going to pick.

Wrong.

I am a kitten.  A lioness.  The kind of the jungle.  The cutest most cuddly animal in all of the land.  A ferocious feline.

Kitten Ciera.

Think about it, I spend most of my free time hanging out with my cats, and everyday I make sure to take the time to tell them all about my day.

I speak cat.  Don’t doubt me just because you don’t understand what the cute little tomcat outside of your window is saying.  I’m the cat whisperer don’t be a hater.

I’m also nimble like a kitten, light on my feet if you will.  My natural ability to be a ninja comes from my cat-likeness.  Duh.

Also, I have made it a personal goal of mine to save the lives of as many kittens as I can throughout my lifetime, which is why one day I will have my own nonprofit where I take in all sorts of kittens and help them find homes.  No, I will not be on animal hoarders.  At least I hope not because that really wouldn’t be fun.

All I want to do is grow old with my kittens.  Therefore I am a kitten.  Plus, Hal and Cam call me kitten on occasion and they are never wrong.  Ever.

Crazy cat lady.

Day 7 – Favorite meme.

I’m not really sure this needs much description.  If you know me then you should know by now I’m a crazy cat lady.  And this meme describes my Mr. Tinkles perfectly.

I am…

Day 6 – Who are you?

Let’s be real.  You can’t describe the awesomeness that is Ciera Choate in one blog post.  It just isn’t possible.  There are so many amazingly great things about me that I wouldn’t even begin to have time to describe.  Not like I can’t give you a little bit of something though.  I am the most interesting person in the world, so I don’t blame you for wanting to know everything about me.

I am a journalist who is obsessively in love with her job and what she does.  I feel others are often annoyed at how much I love writing and how much I talk about it.

I am a crazy cat lady who plans to grow old and have hundreds of kittens.  You will see me on animal hoarders one day, most likely.

I am a wizard who attended Hogwarts, class of ’08.  I know I’m not supposed to just put that out there for the muggles, but they don’t really understand anyway.  Seriously though, Harry Potter and Hogwarts are the greatest thing to ever come into my life.  I wouldn’t be the same without Harry and his friends.  Thank you J.K. Rowling.

I would post a picture of me flying my broom, but I can’t since muggles often read my blog.

I am the most stubborn, hard-headed individual you will ever meet.  Once I have made up my mind that’s just how things are going to happen, and if you tell me I’m not allowed to do something I will most likely put it at the top of my to do list.  That’s just how I roll.

I am not as conceited and full of myself as you think. I promise.

I am a terrible singer, but my lack of amazingness does not stop me from belting out every word to every song I hear.  I do have a gift of memorizing songs and never forgetting them, so it’s not often that I am unable to sing along.

I am a dancer, and always will be.  I may not take class a million hours a week or compete anymore, but it’s not something that goes away when you graduate.

I am the greatest big sister in the world.  She will try to deny it, but Sav couldn’t find a better sister even if she tried.

I am one of the most eccentric people I have come across in life.  There is never a dull moment when I’m around.

…Okay I’m bored now.  That’s all you get today.